Good early morning to you- logging here at 5:30 am with the little one and drinking some Good Earth sweet chai with a splash of soy milk. Today you are just going to join me for my morning journal. Hope you enjoy it!
Thought of the day: You don’t have to dill the silence.
Power in: thinking & creativity and spirituality
Trouble with: routine, sex & love, social life, and self
Today you feel torn between your fantasy life and consensus reality. Emotional fixations and inflexibility will hinder creative flow. This month focus on how to perceive your life when you are feeling anxious. You are not a bad person for needing to detach- grow and expand by making a decision. Your main challenge right now is to control the tension between your desire to transform and the resistance of your emotional self. You are keeping up with everyone else because you are afraid of what you’ll find when you turn yourself inward. Here is what you are missing: your tender self, dying to be loved.
Personal Note: Sometimes it is easier for me to work on the outward goals than the inner ones. The healing that is needed for me to move forward is more tender than goals like blogging and working out regularly. Remember to listen to yourself and take time for yourself to just breathe. You are okay to just exist with no expectations of productivity.
Supernatural grace: your capacity for compassion is stimulated into action. This time, use your imagination to animate your self-directed goals. Treat everyone’s feelings as though they are something precious you can’t afford to replace.
Creative Flow: You are intellectually receptive and right now you are able to access your intuition and imagination. Think about what your future self would do. to strengthen your mind, don’t escape into abstract intellectualism. Instead, exercise your capacity to make a decision.
Personal Note: I think it is interesting that Co-Star keeps bringing up that I need to practice making decisions the past few days. Making bold or strong decisions for me has always been difficult because I fear the wrong choice so heavily. If others around me make decisions for me- I don’t feel responsible for the consequences. As a mother and a healing human, I need to both learn to be brave and accountable. They go hand in hand most times.
Out of Sorts: You are complicated and find fulfillment when you take creative risks. Be careful of overconfidence, confide in your friends, and don’t only rely on your gut. Sanity check your wild ideas before you make a decision, especially if you are feeling particularly angry.
Alienated: When things are good, you stay connected to what you love with urgency and speed. When things are hard, you sabotage yourself by being combative. Instead of clinginess, try support. Instead of agonizing, try releasing. Self-pity is just sadness in pejorative.
Social Anxiety: When things are good, you resist and create with a totally open mind. When things are hard, you detach. This area is causing you pain right now. Generosity means being thoughtful about why other people behave as they do. This is the key to cultivating good relationships. When problems arise- don’t react with a judgment, that will only create distance.
Personal Note: I agree that I tend to detach and self-sabotage. It was a survival technique when I was younger, but as an adult, I am safe to have unconditional relationships and have the ability to go through the hard times together with my partner without judgment or resentment.
Stress: You typically work towards your goals with an intense and direct spirit. Right now you may feel particularly impulsive, making it an important time to be aware of fear related to personal resources. It is not that you have nothing to offer- it is that you haven’t figured out how and where to apply your gifts.
Daily Quick Journal:
We have about 14 days until we are moving our whole family to a new house. This brings up a lot of feelings including sadness (about leaving our first family home), excitement (about getting a home of our very own), stress (about packing and getting all the nitty-gritty todos done), etc.
Today, I want to focus on having a healthy and happy day. I would like to go back to bed for a bit while Kai sleeps and when we wake up have a nice time stretching/enjoying some mindful movement and a healthy breakfast. We are going to visit his dad at his work today for lunch so we will reserve the morning for relaxation.
When we get back my only goal is to clean the bathroom and organize Kai’s room. If I happen to have time and energy to pack the medicine cabinet and extra stuff in Kai’s room- then that will be awesome, but I will not stress about heavy lifting today. Just a general pick-up to keep our space as decluttered and stress-free as we can. Here is to a good day- thank you for joining me on my morning journaling experience. Also- even if you are not super into horoscopes, I still recommend Co-Star as it is insightful and you can take what applies to you and leave the rest!
I will see you all hopefully soon, but for now, I am going to sleep.